Do.they.see.the.fear.in.my.eyes?This.time.i.cannot.disguise.all.the. doubt.i.feel.inside.

It scares me just as much as before
.x.
but I dont want to look away
.x.
This blood emptying from my viens
.x.
will not let me live another day

You layed in my arms...
and slowly passed that day...
&& I hate myself...
For letting you slip away...

RIP SISTER...

...I'm sorry that I wasn't able to hold you here...

It's hurts...

to know the truth...

but believe the lie...

My dreams aren't dreams unless your there,
there with me in some way,
and when I wake up, I'm out of air,
cuz even in dreams, you take my breath away.

These words and this pen
have become a gun to my head
I want to hold on but I don't know if I can
so now I'm letting go again

I sit here wondering so many things
like why you couldn't stay,
why your cancer had to spread like wings
that took you so far away

rip Rachel. I miss you sister.

I wanted to make everything OK
but now you're just so far away
and I'm still stuck in yesterday...

&& to be honest...I don't know what I would do
if there was ever a me without a you...

I'm sorry dear mom that i turned out to be gay
I'm sorry that you didn't plan on you're "perfect daughter" being this way
but this is who i am, and i can't change me
nor would i want to because this me is happy