The thing I like about escalators is that they can never be out of order, they can only be temperarily stairs.
-Mitch Hedberg

If you are flamable and have legs you can not block a fire exit.-Mitch Hedberg
where i got it:Someone came up and said sir you have to move your blocking the fire exit like if there was a fire i wasn't gonna run.

"What did you do to Compy?"
"It's in a better place now, well, actually it's in the same place but it has a huge hole in it."-Strong Bad and Bubs

As I lye in bed and look up at the night skie.I begin to think, where the hecks my roof?

Death is not at all the end of suffering, for with death comes much much more suffering to those around you.

Holy heckles batman!!!
what is it mr. norris?