" daddy would u like some sausage??"

lol

Dats why ya momma can't cook!!

IF U WERE IN A DESSERT WEARING A JACKET AND PANTS WOULD U TAKE OFF UR PANTS AND JACK IT?

[SAY IT SLOWLY AND THINK ABOUT IT]

Dear HEART, I met a boy today. Prepare to shatter.

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.

-Marilyn Monroe

DON'T HAVE SEX.

YOU'LL GET PREGNANT...

AND DIE.

WEED....

IT MAKES U RESPOND TO "STUPID" TEN SECONDS SLOWER.

LMAO

CANDY iSZ DANDY, BUT LiQ0R iSZ QUiCKER!!!

"occifer, i swear to drunk i'm not god." he turns to his friend. "yo man, i'm home again can you take me drunk?"

Call me a nerd....

I'll be your boss in ten years.