I like to write a lot... so thats why im here... to write and share it with other people and get feedback... peace |
She kissed my forehead
Whispered her tear filled confession...
Waves of current
flowing through the line...
The cool nights breeze overwhelms me
It tells me they are gaining on me...
I met a boy.
Nothing could deny his integrity, manners or sex...
A kiss will say
a thousand words...
I'm broken down
And beaten up...
The cool nights breeze overwhelms me
It tells me they are gaining on me...
Waves of current
flowing through the line...
I love you, even though i left you. understand it was to help you. with your sadness and your health. i hope to keep you. because i love you |
So i dont normally do this. I would really like to get some feedback. It is a relationship poem and its called Confusion. it is in the slang category due to one word that i used. i would really appreciate the constructive criticism. thanks! |
Hey I'm sorry to do this... but i would really appreciate some feedback on my 2 new poems... they are (1) The Desire to Sin and (2) Today is Chapter One.... i would love to hear what all you guys think... THANKS!!! ~mer~ |