(I actually say this to people)

I am a virgin... I have not made love to a man, a woman, or a chicken.

Well... you're the most depressing thing since the Crucifixion...

You can pick your friends,
You can pick your nose,
Try to pick your friend's nose with an M-80 and the police will question you...

"I love Doritos......sometimes...."

My ex, Carmen, on the phone one night

I am a swordsmaster, be-0tch - I will kick your a*s!

God only exists if you believe in Him...

Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth - Pablo Picasso

You only die once...make it exciting. - Taylor Winge

When someone truly feels suicidal...very few people know. People who want attention brag about it...

If you hear voices, don't worry...it's all in your head.