Why should I smile when you're the one who made me happy and then left?

Throughout my whole life I've felt nothing but pain.
Yet I still set myself up for it every time...why?

Sadly I know I will never find love.
I don't even know why I try.
I guess I like the pain of loss.
It gives me something to feel in this numb world of mine.

I guess I'm meant to be a porcelain doll on display for the whole world to see,
never to be loved by one person but desired by everyone.

Sometimes we have to hurt the ones we love so they can learn.

Leave me to try and fix myself
because you're the one who broke me.

Sometimes we have to suffer to move forward,
if we don't then we move so far backwards that no amount of suffering will fix it.

I look into the mirror and I don't recognize the person staring back.
All I see is two cold, distant eyes looking at me filled with so much pain and misery.
The person I see isn't even living anymore...
they're dead inside.

I'm not the person I once knew. I'm just an empty shell who goes through life so carelessly without one ounce of emotion toward anything.

Love is hidden within pain,
so we have to hurt to feel,
to fall before someone will catch us.
We have to first know sadness before we can know what true happiness is.
So let that first tear be shed.