If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed
replacement anyway.

You know it's going to be a bad day
when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

*Something my friend Ed said*

If you don't get caught, did you really do it?

Earn cash in your spare time...blackmail people!

*Me when i told my history teacher I was ill and he called me a 'little hypochondriac'*

I'm only a hypochondriac when I'm feeling sick!!

No matter how bad a situation is, if you can't laugh at it, you are in really deep shit.

*Something I said to my friend when she was going nuts about things*

If you're going to panic, panic constructively!

.......and quietly come to think of it, possibly over there.

**yeah i know it probably wasnt the most constructive thing**

It isn't homework unless its due tomorrow!

Something Joe said in math.

"If I die a virgin, I'll kill myself"

err that doesnt work out

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac