When life gives you lemons, find one of two things: 1)someone to throw them at or 2)a shrimp to squeeze them on

You can tune a guitar...but you can't tun-a-fish...haha...maybe I'm just retarded but that's so funny!

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off...

this is a song title, not an original

What hurts the most
is being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was trying to do

I didn't make this up...its a song

No love= No pain

No pain=No gain

Why doesn't it hurt to fall in love, yet it nearly kills to fall out?

Every night before I go to sleep I see those bedroom eyes...gorgeous body, to-die-for face and then I say to myself:

"I really need to take that mirror off of my ceiling!"

Why don't old men have sex with old women?

Have you ever tried to pull apart a grilled cheese sandwhich?!

sorry, thats gross but its so funny..lol

He's everything I have drempt of and more...

I'm everything he doesn't want and nothing more...

~!*What feels good isn't always right...

..........but it always feels good*!~