If a horse produces one horse-power, how big is the horse? Surely a big horse produces more horse power than a small horse? "Oh my car produces 250 horsepower, but they're tiny horses."

What was it that fish spent so much time staring at, that they evolved into something that doesn't blink? Snakes? Must've been quite a staring competition!

It amazes me what people consider to be "civilized", considering the track record of civilization.

Never pray for anything that's not on your list of three wishes for a genie.

It doesn't take intelligence to spot genius any more than it takes stupidity to spot idiocy.

Arguments with my wife tend to end with her feeling that she is ulitmately right. Which is odd because they end with me feeling that too: that she's right. That can't be right.

I wonder if there's a support group for failed support groups.

Can you REALLY make a stand at a sit-in protest? Who tells you when a sponsored silence is over?

Q: Why did the gold bars get expelled from school?

A: Bullion!

I tried to contact the spirit world last night. I managed it, but all I got was a stream of obscenities and profanity in a thick Scottish dailect. That's the last time I use a Glaswiija board.