The more arguments you win the less friends you'll have

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions

There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them

If everybody's thinking alike, somebody isn't thinking.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.