I'm breaking. I am shattering. I can't stop it. I'm sorry everyone. Please understand. I love you all, but I need to disapper. I need to hide. You can try and come find me, I wish you all the best of luck. |
One little cut and I won't have to feel anymore. I'll be free of this. I won't want to cry and I won't want to die because I'll be dead. I won't have to worry about all of this and I'll be okay, for good. |
I want it so bad I can taste it. The pain and then, the numbness. I can see the blood flow. I can feel the razor bite. I want to so bad, but I shouldn't. Its like an addiction. I don't want to cut up my legs, I want to cut up my wrists. |
I want to see that pretty blue vain under that white skin be cut in two. I want to see that dark red blood stain my fingers and arms. I want to leave scars of my pain. I want the scars of my heart and soul on my skin for all to see. |
I don't want to admit feelings for people anymore. I don't want to feel anymore. I don't want to be anymore. I want to cut and carve and let my blood flow. I want to let the life drain out of my body like it has my heart. |
I can't live. I don't live. I merely exist. I'm not real. I'm not even here anymore. |
I keep up that shell, and hide behind it. Everyone see the smiling and laughing me. Everyone sees the fake. The copy that lives for me, if “live†is a word you can use to describe it. Not even my closest friends see through it. |
As much as I want them to know me, as much as I want to let them in, my instincts override my heart. I've given over to them to keep my heart safe, but now I think I'm numb. |
I've kept my heart hidden for so long, its still tender, it still hurts. Maybe one day I'll let someone in. |
The person I need to hide from most is always with me. I can't run from my self, though I try. I'm running in circles in my mind and I'm getting dizzy. Soon I'll crash and if its left up to me, no one will be there to catch me or pick me back up. |