I only wish you could see
How much pain he has caused me.
How I've lost my motivation to survive,
How I regret everyday being alive.

Everything I am,
And everything I do,
Is a reflection
Of the hell he put me through.

Your cold hands,
Your unwelcome touch,
Your dark eyes,
Your hunger for power.

It has destroyed my life,
And what kills me,
Is that I'm trapped in your prison,
And you're walking free.

I look back at what I used to be,
And I look at what I am now.
How I wish I could have blocked you out a little longer.
Maybe then i'd have a chance to make something of myself.

You tell me you want to know my feelings.
So I tell you why I'm feeling bad.
When I'm feeling bad you say you hate it.
So I put on my happy face again.

You wanted to sleep with me

I said I'm not ready...

You said don't let the door hit you on your way out...

And I though I did something wrong...

Smoke the joint,

Drink the liquor,

Feel the pain?

Then drink it quicker.

Rip open the surface,

And feel the sting.

Purge away your misery,

Unabe to feel a thing.

Yes,

This is what you have done.

I'll say goodbye to you now
Don't worry, I will be waiting here for you in heaven...

And I'll be there,
Because God didn't want me to suffer anymore,
So he let me take my own life.

(to my best friend )

I'm still crying in hopes you'll say you didn't mean a thing you said...

My heart aches, my stomach churns, my hands shake, my mouth is dry,
And I know you're smiling.

Id cry for you,
Id die for you,
Bleed dry for you,
But I could never say bye to you.
Cant you see
That when you walked away
My world collapsed
One day seemed like three years elapsed.

from my new poem