I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so innocent. But I know that secretly, they're watching my every move and plotting to beat me over the head with a large steel pipe and take my shoe.

You could call me every bad and dirty word in every language ever and I'd still love you. ~B.D.

I love you, even if you don't love me, even if you won't talk to me, even if you think you think you can't confide in me. I love you so much, that when you are not near me it hurts, and when you are it hurts even more, because you won't love me.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream,"I Won! I Won!"
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

You're really funny.

But looks aren't everything.