He doesn’t have the time to write a letter…no, he doesn’t have the mental capacity!

A good friend will console you when he breaks up with you, but a real friend will be the one who will walk right up to him and say, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

This is my boyfriend...he just hasn't asked me out yet.

The world needs more rubber sidewalks.

I wish my grass was emo—then it would cut itself!

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

“My, isn’t everyone looking PERKY today!”

*ha-ha Justine!*

“Don’t get lost!”

*I really love Irish Fest in Wisconsin…don’t you?*

I don’t think we won that trip to Ireland…

Choosing the difference between right and wrong is one thing...but choosing the greater of two goods, or the lesser of two wrongs...that is what shapes our lives.