When you tell your wife she has a nice ass, he's really looking at someone else's!!!

When your boyfriend says you look like thomas off of "The Ringer" he really means it.....

"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."

"hunny", it's not your pants that makes you look fat, it's your fat that makes you look fat.

Crazy is a relative term in my family!

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

" It's not the mans fault that he's a freakin mexican" He can't help it!!!

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy"...

Don't be something that your not, cuz you let everyone down otherwise

If you want to be loved and popular in life... all you have to be is SOMEONE ELSE.

By my dear friend kirk