Here lies the body of jonathan blake stepped on the gas in stead of the break

My friend got arrested for possesion of an offensive face.

Why are men like clouds?

because as soon as they go away the world becomes a brighter place

Wise man once said "i don't knoww ask a woman"

*message y friend sent me*

OMG!! i just got a phone call of god, he sed one of his angels is missing, Shhhhhhhhh i didnt tell him where you were

You dont win the beauty padgent
after you drop the batons
unless you have ice water in your veins pal
bring it on

MAN: your last husband disappeared...

Woman: he was an illusionist.

Man: but he never re-apeared..

Woman: he wasn't a very good illusionist

Husband: hey hunni did u miss me?

wife: with every bullet so far

Behind every clever man, is a scientist running tests

When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back