Stress is when you wake up screaming.......

and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

MY imaginary Friend Thinks YOU HAVE Serious PROBLEMS

Some people smile a lot...
as a disguise... those people
who smile a lot... watch their eyes

You are what you eat
How does stupid
Taste anyway?

Some people are like cheap television sets... they need to be thumped on the side of the head until they get the picture.

You know you are insane if......Your dentist asks you why each individual tooth has your name etched on it, and you tell him it's for security reasons.

Smoking can really KILL a person.....
YOUshould try it sometime.

I Love You is eight letters long......so is BULLSHIT

CrAcKs In ThE CoNcReTe ArE jUsT rEmInDeRs ThAt YoU fAlL ApArT nO mAtTeR hOw StRoNg YoU ArE.

So let me get this straight,
I am supposed to pay money for a dead tree, not be afraid of a fat guy in a red suit, and eat candy out of a sock?