I want to call you but i know i shouldnt i will only be hurt more

I really need help rite now, He hurt me again this morning, my heart is shaking, i cant move, i want to tell someone, but yet im so scared

&& today my mom asked me what i wanted for christmas what i want they cant give me i want my daddy

I am crying because on the inside i am dieing

& i wanted to call u to say merry christmas and to tell u i love you but i cant just another year without u

&& so I relized noone can help me with this im gonna have to do this on my own, But i dont have there answers

&& he should be happy becuz im not telling anyone the other ways he hurts me and i wont becuz im to scared

&& so i cut tonight becuz i relized this little knife i call my friend will help me through the night when he is hurting me

&& its gonna come a time when she has to choose him or me becuz i cant be here waiting to see if im gonna get hurt

Im not sure what to do to get him to stop hurting me but all i can say is i tryed my best and sometimes its never good enouf