& my best friend called me today, we made plans, i know he mite be the only person in my life that will never go away,he helps me with alot hes always there for me , im starting to really like him , then y am i so scared?

&& he held me last night & told me this relationship could work i said i dont think so I just cant take the chance of get hurt again

Im really starting to get close to him and care about him and im getting scared away

&& for every mistake are parents make were the ones to suffer the most!

I was talking to someone last night they told me when im with them i pretend to be happy and i have so much energy but when they talk to me all they can see is someone whos not there whos really hurt and lost i love my friends they help me relize alot!!!

&& today i went to this important type thing everyone seemed so happy i didnt feel like i belong

&& today im trying to make better choses than what i ahve been doing this week but i feel so stuck

& if something happened to me and i die people would only care in the beginning then they would move on

&& maybe when your mom and dad see's you laying there dead, maybe then they will finally relize that you just needed them in your life to love you

As i looked around today i relized im much different than these people around me i felt like no one understood , i wanted to be alone