Does it make my mom proud seeing me crying seeing me bleeding like she had no part of my past why does she bother with me now

I havnt talked about whats bothering me in days and now i cant its like im alone fighting the monsters in the dark

Im not sure what love is, bu tall i know is i really love him isnt that enouf

I can no longer cry im slowly dieing theres not chance for me to say goodbye to him- forever daddys girl cant do it without him

I was taught alot of bad my whole life and now im lost good seems way to hard

I got into a fight with my mom,then her boyfriend then left i felt relieved i will finally stop being hurt, im just scared he mite be coming back

Im so sick of every choice i make no ones supporting me even when im trying my best

Why am i struggling so much to stay alive when i just want to die?

Im getting blamed for things i didnt do, I get hurt to, things r really bad here we r having a really hard time i just wish my mom would admit it and try to help us :(

And its sad that my dad knows all i ever wanted was him, now he knows im dieing from all hes done and he wont even help me fight his