“Now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.”
- Voltair on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."

"Man has made use of his intelligence, he invented stupidity."
Remy De Gourmant

"I'm not into working out. My philosophy [is]: No pain, no pain."
Carol Leifer

Friends are those who bail you out of jail. BEST friends are those that are sitting next to you saying, 'Damn! That was fun!'

"A university professor set an examination question in which he asked the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A to a student who answered: 'I don't know and I don't care.'" - Richard Pratt

“When I get the urge to clean, I lay down until it passes.”

“Home sweet home is far from this dump.”

“Analysing humour is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” – E.B. White.

“It’s a control freak thing. I wouldn’t let you understand.” – S.H. Underwood.