I once told a man next to me that love is forever, but he had been married 3 times, I then told him that wasn't love, it's friendship that went to hell

If my friends jumped off a bridge, I wouldn't, I look down and say "Sorry, I thought you said make sure it had NO water. My bad, I should call 911 now, shouldn't I? Okay, let me find me cell...hey! A forty doller bill!" *really a nickel*

Jack and Jill went up the hill, each with a buck and quarter, Jill came down with two fifty, oh that f u c k i n g w h o r e!

I started asking my self why Barney liked to play with little kids. So I went up to him and I saw him unzip the back of him. I was confused, then I gasped and fainted. The Barney suite came off and it was M. Jackson. When I woke up, my a s s hurt....

I'm ADD, and before everyone knew I had it, they just thought I had my head up my a s s.

(Get it? It means everyone thought I wasn't pay any heed. Cause ADD is At- ADD, I dont know how to spell it ^^)

If you ever walk out in publice and notice all the emo, dont you just want to scream, " FREAK, people! We get it! Your emotional! If you wanted everyone to know, tell us! GOD!" That's what I want to say....

You understood,

but you will never understand....

You retard on tuesday!

( that counts for everyday)

Skinny people think they are fat

while the fat people know they are fat..

The worlds fat

so the skinny dont belong!