Person 1- What would you say if I threw you in a river?
person 2- I'd say I'd have to throw you in first then run like hell!

-I said this to my friend, she is constantly playing those flipping "What if?" games!

Life is not like a box o'chocolates...
No, it reminds me more of a jar of jelly beans...
Those ones that look so good then taste like grass or vommit...that\\\'s how life is..all glitter and glitz covering up a fat piece of shite!

"and as the pursuer you are the most *** damned pursuee I ever pursued!"
-Beufor T. Justice`

You know, I just keep drinking but you're still not looking any better!

Softball coach at first base: "YOU'RE IN A PICKLE!!! Now what are you going to do?!?!?!"

Sex is like air...It's all good until you're not getting any!

-Best Cecilisms

It's like having sex without a condom; it get's the job done but it's not very safe!

-Best Cecilisms