Its such a nice day. I think Ill surprise everyone by not taking my medication.

If you are having a bad day, remember, It could be worse: You could be a conjoined twin, with a gay brother, who has a date tonight and you are the only one with a butt hole.

HEY! I just heard, a short bus tipped over and I know how you dont like to wear your helmet because its hard to lick the windows. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. That's like stavving someone then wonder why they are bleeding

"You really want me to be a good son, then why do you make me feel like no one?"

Love is like hitting puberty...it sorta just happens

I know your not religiouse but....
do you believe in dinosaurs?

Trying not to kiss you is like having a puppy you cant pet...

Its a manly belt...its supposed to hurt!

Yeah..I dont like stopsigns either.