Guy:i have a problem...my mom and i got into a fight and she called me a son of a b.i.t.c.h. so i just walked away...

Guy1: how do you indent a paragraph?
guy2: get your d.i.c.k out of your a.s.s and learn to type!!
silence....
guy1: and then what?

Guy 1: I keep getting a negative answer for number ten. what does that mean?
guy 2: it means ur gay
guy 1: yay real funny. I'll just ask the professor.
professor: watcha doin' tonight?

Man 1: I think you should quit drinking.

man 2: It's the beer that's addicted to me.Oh no! It's back! NO Stop! HELP!!!!

Girl: Sometimes I just feel like you never notice me...Charles...I think we should break up...

Charles: WHAT THE HELL?!
Benches aren't supposed to talk!!

Guy 1: Damn, you're fat!
guy 2: Real beauty is skin deep
guy 1: then it's a deep search for you, fatty!

Guy #1: hey, what happened to your legs?
guy #2: moe like, what happened to your arms?
guy #1: Holy crap!

Dad: happy birthday, son!
**gives son pinata**
son: thanks dad!
*son whacks it and blood comes out.**
dad: oh my god...
Why did you do that?!

I love him...
I don't...
I'll get married...
I won't...
AAAAAAAAAARG
why is love so complicated?

Guy: I love you baby.
girl: I love me too.