Guy:i have a problem...my mom and i got into a fight and she called me a son of a b.i.t.c.h. so i just walked away...

The brocolli must die!!!

Did you ever have a hard time spelling the word...Banana?

I wuz like...Bana...keep going...

Bananananananana

BUT it's really spelled...

Bana...shit. okay. you know what? who cares!!!

Kid: where does a rain storm come from?
mom: God is crying.
kid: why is god crying?
mom: Hey! i'm missing 50 bucks from my purse!

Heyyy...not worth suing me...i own nothing but some smelly socks and some unidentified goo under my bed....

B.i.a.t.c.h. please
read between the lines....

U have 2 luv me
i luv u
come on, i no
u luv me 2

I'll be there for you 90% of the time; count on me, you'll see!!!

I luv ur eyes, I luv ur smile,
I cherish ur ways, I adore ur style.
Wut can I say? ur 1 uv a kind,
& 24/7 ur on my mind.

A special smile,
a special face;
a special sum 1
I can't replace.
I luv u & alwayz will
u've filled a space no 1 can fill.