Heyyy...not worth suing me...i own nothing but some smelly socks and some unidentified goo under my bed....

Kid: where does a rain storm come from?
mom: God is crying.
kid: why is god crying?
mom: Hey! i'm missing 50 bucks from my purse!

Did you ever have a hard time spelling the word...Banana?

I wuz like...Bana...keep going...

Bananananananana

BUT it's really spelled...

Bana...shit. okay. you know what? who cares!!!

The brocolli must die!!!

I was sitting on a couch watching T.V.
my little daughter said to me :
"why doth the rain fall down, mommy?"
And I say, "people in heaven pee"

Yo momma so fat it takes her three years to turn around.
one..........................
two..........................
look, cookies!!
one........................
two........................
whoops. gotta go pot--tie!

Yo momma so fat every time she passes by, you miss 5 t.v. shows.
Kid: MOM!!
5 t.v. shows later
mom: you want me to move? ok.

Kid: (-_-*)<--annoyed face

AAAH! I hate rubic cubes
they're evil!!
I can never get it. A waste of time. but then I realized...
THE COLOURS WERE SWITCHED!!!

If only i can tell you
how much you mean to me
if only you would take me back
i would do anything
'cuz you changed my world
now I'll never be the same

Ken dodds dads dogs dead.