Bad consequences are just God's way of saying, "Told ya so!"

"If I had a star for every time you smiled, I'd hold the galaxy in my hands."

-Actually, my friend Ray made this one up forever ago. I just did the honor of putting it on the net.

Death is just Life's way of saying, "You're fired."

F.U.C.K. stands for friends u can keep. So will you fu.c.k me forever?

Party Hardy
Drink Bar-card-i
Smoke a Blunt
Throw a party
Beer is good
Se.x is Heaven
You're my Ho
for 2007!

Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

The years make us all older, but very few wiser.

This quote in particular was a favorite of my grandmother.

The Easter bunny wanted to play a trick on a rooster so one morning the bunny went in the hen house and switched out all the eggs with colored eggs The
rooster walks in and gets a funny look on his face and goes and beats the sh.i.t out of the peacock