The road to Hell is ordered by the righteous, planned by the well-meaning, and paved with their good intentions.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.

Never argue with an idiot, because they'll bring you down to there level...and beat you at it.

Best friends arent afraid to call you a life partner and have the neighbors hear.

Our friendship was like the titanic...said to be unsinkable.

My friends are the kind that if the house was burning down they would be making smores and hitting on the firemen.

OMG! whats that thing growing on your neck? oh...its just your face.

Haha, im running with scissors! ow, my eye!

A woman once said that loving a man is like a deck of playing cards, you need: a heart to love him, a diamond to marry him, a club to bash his face in, and a spade do burry him.

Oh noes! dont forget your cape! youll plummet to the groouuund!....-sighs and dials 911