Ron: That's right, you never did ask me for permission, did you? Well, I'm sorry to burst your ka-bubble, but I just had my ass ka-handed to me by the city manager, and now this entire department is ka-screwed.
What the ka-f*u*k were you thinking

Subsitute: is amelia here?
amelia: actually its pronounced queen elizabeth

There are white collar people here and blue collar people...but i only see people, cause im collar blind
--OFFICE

If germans speak german to a german shepard..do black people speak ebonics to a black lab???

My friends were talkin about not being laid in a while..
amy: its like an itch i really really need to scratch
jamie: oh u kno vagisils good for that (obviously not paying attention)
amy: nope not that kinda itch

In prison everyone would be someones b!+ch!! you ryan would definetly be somesone b!+ch!! DONT DROP THE SOAP!! DONT DROP THE SOAP!!
--OFFICE

Jus tryin to take life one step at a time

like a carpenter....building stairs....

Why is it the black men are always in jail, thats so racist....they should all be like the white men.
--OFFICE

Peter: what are all these parallelograms doing here?
joe: you mean paraplegic??
--FAMILY GUY

**some argument in writing comp.**
girl 1: i wld spell it out for u if u knew how to read!
girl 2: then wtf are we in writing class for??!!
random voice: to write??