I really wanna touch this bug zappeer...but somthing keeps telling me its a bad idea

Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?!

My mom: i thought you were hungry, are you gonna eat or facebook.
me: i also have to pee... i just dont know anymore

Ya ur shirt is xxl but ur d ! c k will always be xxs

Guy: my dad loves his bike more than me
guy2: thats not true
guy: he wrote it on my birthday card

Kenny: u dun trampled my trust and lolly gagged all over our friendship....... watever that means

Bonnie: i saw a deranged racoon
her mom: was it a rabbit?
bonnie: no..... it was a racoon

Phineas and ferb
stacy: its a bunny bear
its a cross between a bunny and a bear
get it?

U dont realize how much you need each of your fingers until they're wrapped in a band-aid n your tryin so hard not to get it wet

It's not that i hate you it's just...ok, put it this way. if you were on fire and i had water. i would drink the water.