Its not my fault when u and ur boyfriend are doing it he's thinking of me

Hello my name is Jen remember that bcuz ull be screaming it later

Shut the f up or ill shove u back up ur mom where u came from!!

He he i said tht to my cuzin rawrface one random day!!

Friend: wat do u call nuts on ur chest?

Me: chest nuts

friend: wat do u call nuts on a wall?

Me: wall nuts

friend: wat do u call nuts on ur chin?

Me: chin nuts?

Friend: no my di ck in ur mouth!!!

Princess: u want sex from ur boyfriend really bad don't you?

Me: Yeah, I do.

Princess: Hm, I wonder what I'm doing this weekend

Me: -weird look-

Princess: ...Sh*t, that was horrible timing...

Princess: so she said "Are you two gonna...-hand motion-" And I said idk being my first time and all

Me: Well, why don't you do it with a chick?

Princess: Let's not...

Its okay moses was once a basketcase and look how he turned out!

Hard work never hurt anyone... But im still not going to risk it!

( from princesses shirt!)

Dont wait for prince charming he's probably gay anyway!

I'm that guy your mom warned you to stay away from- You know, when she said "Oh, don't bother honey, he's gay.'

from my friend princess