Hope is a bird that dies outside
my window every morning...

A steady pulse
then everything crescendos...

You didn't read the forecast today,
didn't plan on the heavy raindrops...

It's back again,
gnawing...

Last night, I looked in
the mirror, and wasn't...

it's been years since i've stayed up
all night; trust me, this isn't my choosing...

it's always about you.
i know you don't always mean...

Lately, it's felt nearly impossible
to get out of bed...

I let the rain massage my shoulders,
untying the knots in my back...

His name is J and I don't know him well.
His existence in my dream may be a...

it's not enough to write about the loneliness...
or conjure metaphors that will be accurate enough...

[trigger/content warning]
Waking up suicidal...