I would never ever say how much I really needed you to stay with me. I would never ever say how much it really hurts to stop myself, and just let you walk away. Truly, I've never been able to deal with people leaving me for whatever reason.

I don't expect anything in return, because somehow... I know however hard I bend over backwards and wished for it, I'll just never get it.

It's really frustrating for me; to do something right BUT it's against my heart and my belief. It's annoyingly frustrating and painful.

I hate having to be cruel, for my very own sake. & I hate it when my heart has to deal with the practicality of my head (or mind).

I'm kinda used to being left and hurt.

I don't know how long more I can take; this emotional and mental fight between my head and my heart.

It's such an OVERSTATEMENT, in a way... for you to say you know me so well, when you can't even start to understand why I do things the way I bloody do!

But I just cannot explained to you, how meaningless my life is... so much so YOUR STUPIDS THREATS don't really bother me that much. In fact, I think I'd be happier and probably dead maybe, if you ACTUALLY carried out your threats.

I've been holding back so much, so when I finally got the guts take that free fall plunge into oblivion... it will be just me, on my own breaking my own neck with no one else to drag along with me.

I let myself be physically, mentally and emotionally abused without caring by whom or why.