I don't know how long more I can take; this emotional and mental fight between my head and my heart.

I'm kinda used to being left and hurt.

I hate having to be cruel, for my very own sake. & I hate it when my heart has to deal with the practicality of my head (or mind).

It's really frustrating for me; to do something right BUT it's against my heart and my belief. It's annoyingly frustrating and painful.

I don't expect anything in return, because somehow... I know however hard I bend over backwards and wished for it, I'll just never get it.

I would never ever say how much I really needed you to stay with me. I would never ever say how much it really hurts to stop myself, and just let you walk away. Truly, I've never been able to deal with people leaving me for whatever reason.

I'm trying to figure out if I'm that much of a jinx, for people to keep leaving me behind for some or no reasons...

It's not something that I can take lightly, especially if I have known you for some time.

Working my ass off like there's no tomorrow and staying late nights so I don't get visited by you in my nightmares... those are my only escapes.

The more I tire myself out, the less I think of you.

I feel ugly. I look ugly. I am ugly. My esteem's just keep going downhill and I'm forcing myself to feel alright, to look alright, TO BE ALRIGHT for the sake of everyone else!

IN GOD I TRUST; IN EVERYONE ELSE I DON'T.