I literally forced myself to move on, even though a little of me was dying inside with each waking moment. The happy image portrayed outwardly didn't matched the dying hopes raging through my mind and heart.

I was badly broken, but I couldn't let anyone see it, even now.

I know, what it feels, to be the last one who knew. To be the one getting the news from everyone BUT that person who should be telling you the truth.

I guess I'm never gonna be good enough for the truth.

I forgive you for the truth, I like you better when you lied.
I forgive you for being you, I like you better when you faked every smile.

I'm still involved emotionally with someone, and somehow I refused to let those feelings go. Those feelings are my comfort zone. Those feelings, no matter how delusional or in denial, keeps me from having to start all over again.

When people say I'm just too damn independent, it's only because I learnt the hard way how to take care of myself. When people say I'm just way too stubborn, it's because I learnt the hard way never to trust people so easily.

I'm just too independent and too stubborn for my own good, and nobody loves me for that. They love me when I'm nice, they love me when I'm pretty, they love me when I forgive and really forget... but they could never love me for being who I really am.

I am, as always the tragedy in the relationship, but will you, like others treat me like a bloody disaster too?

Someone may disappoint me again, another time too much.

‎... thinking if people were rain, he was drizzle and I'm a hurricane.