Do whatever it is you feel like doing, and don't bother to explain, really... I don't need to see or hear to know and believe me, I rather NOT know.

IN GOD I TRUST; IN EVERYONE ELSE I DON'T.

I feel ugly. I look ugly. I am ugly. My esteem's just keep going downhill and I'm forcing myself to feel alright, to look alright, TO BE ALRIGHT for the sake of everyone else!

I let myself be physically, mentally and emotionally abused without caring by whom or why.

I've been holding back so much, so when I finally got the guts take that free fall plunge into oblivion... it will be just me, on my own breaking my own neck with no one else to drag along with me.

But I just cannot explained to you, how meaningless my life is... so much so YOUR STUPIDS THREATS don't really bother me that much. In fact, I think I'd be happier and probably dead maybe, if you ACTUALLY carried out your threats.

It's such an OVERSTATEMENT, in a way... for you to say you know me so well, when you can't even start to understand why I do things the way I bloody do!

I don't know how long more I can take; this emotional and mental fight between my head and my heart.

I'm kinda used to being left and hurt.

I hate having to be cruel, for my very own sake. & I hate it when my heart has to deal with the practicality of my head (or mind).