My Nickname is Toxic

I've been in love with many guys, atleast i thought i had, 3 of them we always loved till one of us had to more. Or like my lastest hurt me physically mentally or emotionally, to the point of me wanting to die.
I've passed on from him, cuz ive seen my friends die, killed, shot. its not a pretty site and i know i mean more to my friends than he ever meant to me.
My friend has hung herself, and no one knew why, my friend was shot, for no reason i know, my friend was stabbed on new years day,Steffanie, my friend has cut herself and been rushed to hospital. i dont want to hurt myself, ijust want to be out of my life and out of my shoes.
My fave colour is black
my best friend is Cassidy
the guy im head over heels for right now is Kenneth
i have a small crush on my friend Dexter
my friends are older than me, they understand everything.

I spend my spare time writing poems, quotes and songs.

Death is a sorce of which i write,
being forced to do something too.
all the poems/quotes i have wrote
are me being in my friends shoes or ideas i have gotten from quotes.

i write lots of songs
mainly love songs
which my boyfriend learns to play on the his guitar.

i have written songs for bands
and i have helped out my friend in writing a song so he can join a band.
i do write from the heart
and what i write is how i feel or what that topic or quote or whatever makes me feel
im very open as you can see.