A girl phoned me the other day and said ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
— Rodney Dangerfield

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my brother to swim.

Girls want alot of things from guys, but guys only want one thing from alot of girls

If vegetarians don't eat animals...then they dont eat animal crackers? But how come they still eat eggs? arent eggs chickens too?wow im confused

I'd hit that. What? Oh when I said I'd hit that I meant with my car!