It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
[Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)]

When I get a little money, I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes.
[Desiderius Erasmus (1465-1536)]

"On my first day in New York a man asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: 'Do you mind if I mug you here?" -Paul Merton

This rice tastes like coffee and smells likes carrots

Girl 'With which country borders Portugaly?'
Guy:'I know it's in America but let me think for a while so I can answer correctly'

"The Nile is located in Greece, isn't it?"
"No, ****, it's called Egypt"
"Oh, I always mix those two up"

Some class, somewhere, some girl said this....

"A blonde in my class asked our science teacher if it was true that the world was flat"...

off the web thought I'd share

When people don't listen to you, and make up your answers in their heads, it's a bad sign.

Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation, or creed - Bertrand Russell

I'm astounded by people who want to "know" the universe when it's hard enouh to find your way around Chinatown -Woody Allen