How the heck do you expect me to put a smile on when i cant even bare to look at you, at me, at this house, at the world with out crying. so you can take that smile and shove it up yours because its not going on my face.

Im blamed for everything even though its not my fault
i get mad for being blamed and with in seconds im told to get rid of that Attitude
i get blamed for being sad.

YOU ARE WHY IM ALWAYS SAD!

but just go ahead and blame me. you will anyway

Dont tell me that when your with her she makes you so happy. dont tell me that when you talk to me you worry about me and it upsets you. because if you really cared i would be the one making you happy.

I dont want to hear that you miss me when you have a girl your moving in with.
I want to hear that you love me and want me instead.

But you will never go back to that day where you told me i was the only one for you.

The pain i sit and deal with every day; the danger you put me in; the blame you put upon me; all of it... is hidden with in the smile you see on my face every day.

how dare you do this to me.

Have you ever sat in silence listening to the Wind? how free it sounds? how happy it sounds? and it is free to get angry... and free to be happy... its not trapped in hell like me ... why cant i be that wind i am so jealous of?

How many times do i have to tell someone i am fine for them to see that im not?
how many nights do i have to cry myself to sleep for someone to hear me?
how many times do i have to pass the scars off as something else for someone to see im in pain?

You tell me you want me to sit right beside you but when i say i miss you, you do not reply. You tell me you are not sure if you should love me.... but yet if i try to get an answer out of you im ignored... why so much pain?

They sit there and make jokes about cutting in the corner...
they sit there and joke about people committing suicide...
yet they see the scars and the tears and the pain your in...
but do not care that when they joke they are making fun of you...

The looks and laughter hurt more than words..