My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757

If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.

Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

"Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back." - Al Bundy

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?