If I had to choose between breathing and loving you, I would use my last breath to say: I Love You!

And day by day, no matter what they say, she knew - inside it's all rotting away.

Tears don't bleed because true love doesn't make you cry.

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." - Joey Adams

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Dog looks at a person:"You give me food, love, shelter..You must be God!"
Cat looks at a person:"You give me food, love, shelter..I must be God!"

Real eyes realize real lies.

Him: Why are you wearing a bra ? Not like you have anything to put in there...
Her: You wear pants, don't you ?

Sometimes love is like quicksand - the harder you try to get out, the harder it sucks you back in.