If men break hearts, break their necks.

A girl who knows kung-fu makes guys think twice.

She: Jack, choose ! Me or booze ?
He: How much booze exactly ?

I am not the woman your mother warned you about. Her imagination was never that good.

Women age like fine wine.
Men age like milk.

What ages best ? George Clooney.

Think no one cares you're alive ?
Try missing a few car payments.

Having a guy dump you and say "We can still be friends." is like your dog died and your mom says "You can still keep it."

A wise man once said:"I don't know, go ask a woman."

I like shopping, drinking, and weddings - I just don't like the consequences.