Having a guy dump you and say "We can still be friends." is like your dog died and your mom says "You can still keep it."

Think no one cares you're alive ?
Try missing a few car payments.

What ages best ? George Clooney.

Women age like fine wine.
Men age like milk.

I am not the woman your mother warned you about. Her imagination was never that good.

She: Jack, choose ! Me or booze ?
He: How much booze exactly ?

A girl who knows kung-fu makes guys think twice.

If men break hearts, break their necks.

Sometimes love is like quicksand - the harder you try to get out, the harder it sucks you back in.

Him: Why are you wearing a bra ? Not like you have anything to put in there...
Her: You wear pants, don't you ?