I'm not saying I'm battered && bruised,
But I might as well be with the words you used..

Inside her head may lay all the answers
For curing diseases from baldness to cancer
The salt of the earth && a real good dancer
But I really hate her,
I'll think of a reason later.

Be good, or be good at it.

Written on a church sign: You'll never get a busy signal on the prayer line to Heaven.
Written below it: Bullshit, they never answer.

Doctor: Contrary to popular belief, what happens in Vegas, DOESN'T stay in Vegas. You have herpes.

Written on a bathroom stall: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because I did your dad.
Written below it: Go home mom, you're drunk.

It may be my family's redneck nature
Bringin' out unlady like behavior
It sure ain't Christian to judge a stranger
But I really hate her.
I'll think of a reason later.

I know you miss me,
But you should know
You didn't lose me,
You let me go..

Stand up for what you believe in
Because nobody ever got famous
For following the crowd.

May the Angels protect you,
Trouble neglect you
And Heaven accept you
When it's time to go home.
May you always have plenty
Your glass never empty
And know in your belly
You're never alone.