I hate it when people try to be like me. I should probably be flattered, but I'm angry, and a bit annoyed... Because, seriously, the last thing this world needs is more "me's"...

I hate it when people tell me so-and-so is so-and-so spelled backwards. I really don't care. It's not like I'm going to be writing something then say "Wait.. What if someone wants to read this looking in a mirror".

Have you ever layed on your bed... And looked up at the stars and wonder to yourself... Where the Hell is the roof...?

Back in my day, I would have to walk to school in the snow. And the snow was 6 feet high, and I was only 3 feet. And sometimes there was ice. And I would just pray that it didn't defrost.. Because there was piranhas in there...

I want to work at a fast food joint... Just to be a smart a**. I would work at the window.. And someone would be like "Can I have a whopper?" and I would tell them "No."

I'm a great lover, I'll bet.

Ever see a parsnip? The first time I saw one, I thought it was some kind of retarded carrot.

I always make fun of my friends. My favorite thing to do is tease their "manhood". It's alright though.. I tell them, as long as they have sex in snowbanks... I think they'll be fine..

People always say random words to be funny. And they usually say monkey or cheese. Leave the monkies and cheese alone! They're not funny! They're just trying to live their lives. Well, not the cheese, but still. What about parsnips? They get lonely!

I wish I could smell colors- wait one second, I have no idea where I'm going with this. This is just silly.