Wanna know why you can't get laid?

Look in a mirror and find out.

My ex: Wanna go out sometime? :)

Me: How about this? Fvck you.

If you don't shut up you'll die! D=

You're a lot like an egg; over-easy.

You're my friend and I regret it.

I have a point, you're just too stupid to understand it.

I can be a btch. Deal with it.

Wait! Don't you run from me, too! :'(

A rule of thumb: Don't tell them you want to have a baby on the first date.

It's a shame when you sit down and your thighs squish out to twice their size.