I'll never reduce myself to someone's "thing" again.

I respect you, but I respect myself enough to say you don't deserve me.

I love you because you're everything I'm not.

Fight and flight. Mostly fight...

None of these condoms are big enough!

Yeah, I love pillow talk. I always talk to my pillows about how I want to smother my boyfriend with them.

When he gets on one knee, I'll be on both.

When I walk by you say "fag" but your boner says something else.

I just shat a little bit, but at least I'm wearing a pad.

If I were one of your parents, I'd be so ashamed of you.