It's strange, you stand in the middle of a library and yell 'Aaaaaagghhh!!' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in.

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?

You can wish in one hand and shit in the other, and see which one gets filled first.